| There are things I doubt I can ever understand, there will be things that I will do that I will disagree with but still frantically try to make it all work out. I don't think I will ever come to a compromise with myself. I just want to make you proud. Even after all that ( all of which I disagree with ). I don't quite understand this perpetual pursuit of self-validation and how long I can keep up with it till I break. The months ahead scare me, with all these prospects ( and lack of ) and choices. Just need some clarity, and some reassurance that everything will be just fine. |
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!!!! We'll hop on my lapras and set forth to Cinnabar Island, catch all the ponyats and rapidash and related pokemon and head off to our little house to live in happiness with them forever! We'll go to Nugget Bridge and we'll win the gold nugget together! But not before catching the level 6 mew :D Want to get my pay soon, and for us to get employed together at somewhere else, and for people to buy our very awesome shoes (!! work of art hello hello ) Let's get the blackbird fly and all the clothes in the world. AND GUITAR HERO DS. Edit// It's 4.48 am, maybe I should think good thoughts and head to bed and toss the laptop aside. I am incoherent yet wide awake. There are some things that I can smile about tonight. I hope I will always have them. |
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| I don't think I will ever understand life. I want to opt out. |
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| I feel like a wreck and an utter failure at life. Does not want life filled with ambition and pristine glory. Want to opt out of life and the paperchase. I got 4 conditional offers, three months back, I'll be pleased, in the here and the now, I don't really know what to say to it. Need to know that there is something more beyond my myopic sight. I am through subscribing to what I thought I needed to subscribe to. Do not want anything/anyone to validate me. I just want to be happy with my existence. So many things to live with, but absolutely nothing to live for. My head is this close to splitting because I think I might be going a little crazy. Just want to disappear right about now. Just let me disappear please. I just want to curl up in a ball and count to three, then maybe slowly I will disappear. Slowly but surely. |
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Any excuse to stay awake with you.
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